Bangkok Blog Thailand

THE TIME WE DID [NOT] POOL CRASH

What we were going to talk about I am informed is potentially illegal… so instead, today we will be sharing a story so hypothetical & made up, that two upstanding pillars of the community such as myself and Nat would not- Nay, could not do something like this…

So, to clarify this blog post is dedicated to an event that DID NOT happen / we are telling you NOT to do.

So important is it that we don’t want you to do this; we actually went along and took pictures of ourselves NOT doing it, in the hope that we could convince you NOT to do it!

Confused? Good… so am I!

ALL CLEAR? LET’S GO.

We set off on our secret mission. The goal; to infiltrate one of the swankiest hotels in Bangkok City, find our way to the rooftop pool floor and get our post-workout chillax on.

Now, all great spy missions begin with the introduction of some high-tech transport… and this time would be no exception. Striding, sweat glistening on our perfectly bronzed skin to the bus-stop, we hopped on the number 32 bus and took a 1.5hr ride though the mad, bad, congested streets of Bangkok to a hotel so inconveniently placed away from tourist attractions, we couldn’t possibly be visiting the area unless we had purchased a penthouse suite.

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Pool crashing Bangkok
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After jumping heroically off the bus, we made the short walk to the hotel. As law-abiding citizens, we were only a little concerned about getting caught and taken to a Bangkok prison… put simply, a pretty boy like me just wouldn’t last that long….

Luckily, we had talked through our strategy at length, and had developed a watertight back story. I was Sir Phillious Portinghouse; an international philanthropist, who loves long forest walks, and suffers from a dangerously high lactose intolerance. Natalie was Ms. Shaniqua Shourtette; a soulful yet mysterious jazz flautist with a secret penchant for raspberry jelly. Both conveniently did not speak any English.

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Pool crashing Bangkok-9

As with the build-up to anything that scares you, the reality is always way less exciting. After running around the hotel in as cool a manner as could possibly be mustered, we eventually found the right floor and walked out into the pool area; infinity perfection with a view of the Bangkok skyline awaited us, surrounded by design-over substance deck chairs of varying shape and size that invited us into their loving embrace…

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Pool crashing Bangkok-20

We had come prepared with our swimmies on under our regular clothes, so that faster than Superman in a phone box, we could change and jump in the pool. We did our best to stay as far away from any of the pool attendants; making no eye contact, staying out of earshot and doing our best to look like a couple in the throes of passion dare they consider disturbing us… but just as we were exiting the pool, one walked towards us… Oh shit – Just play it cool, Phillious!

“Good afternoon Sir and Madam… May I get you a towel?”

Ah – The sweet feeling of success. We took our freshly laundered, spotless white, fluffy, definitively non-hostel-like towels and remained lounging poolside for another half hour before riding the elevator down… and running away like little school girls, laughing as we went!

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MISSION NOT ACCOMPLISHED

So this is our story that never happened and that we absolutely would advise that you DON’T try when in a foreign country… but for conversations sake – let us know in the comment box below; have you tried this before? Whats the most illegal thing you DIDN’T do when on your travels? And can you recommend any more things we absolutely should NOT do?

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